Meditation: start to finish

An explanation of meditation from a practitioner of almost fifty years

Bernard Simon

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Introduction

I started meditation when I was in college, back in the Seventies. I quickly saw the benefits and I knew that someday meditation would not be limited to a few strange persons like myself, but would be a widespread practice. And so it has been. However, I feel that many people only understand a few of the benefits of meditation. And much that is been written only describes the introductory levels of meditation practice. So I have decided to write a more comprehensive explanation of meditation practice for those persons who wish to go beyond these introductory explanations. Although my ability to give a fuller explanation of meditation is limited, I hope my poor explanation is better than none at all.

There is a danger that what has happened to yoga will happen to meditation as well. Yoga was originally a spiritual practice, taught to the most advanced students of Indian philosophy. But over the centuries it has become nothing more than a system of calisthenics and stretching and many current yoga instructors have little insight into that spiritual richness of yoga. Meditation has become popular in the modern world as a method to relieve stress and anxiety. While meditation can do this when practiced properly, meditation is a spiritual practice whose goal is enlightenment. To lose sight of this is to cheapen the tradition. Even if you are unable or unwilling to go the entire way along the path of meditation, you should understand the original intention of the practice.

Almost every religion has its own form of meditation and own idea of its goal. I am writing out of the Buddhist tradition. This is not out of any desire to convert you, but because this is the tradition I have practiced and understand the best. The Sanskrit word that is translated as enlightenment is bodhi. It means awakening. Both bodhi and enlightenment are metaphors. They indicate that there is something we have misunderstood or failed to see about ourselves and our environment. And the purpose of meditation is to see everything clearly and correctly. This is because the practice of meditation allows us to see our mind and our perceptions fully, clearly, and correctly. There is a difference between seeing a truth and understanding a truth. Seeing is direct experience. It is the difference between knowing a pepper is hot and tasting the pepper. Meditation practice is direct experience and not intellectual knowledge.

It is traditional to begin a talk on meditation with a discussion of motivation. Motivation is the drive behind your effort. It determines whether you will continue the practice or give it up and whether you will find the practice difficult or easy. So please think about your motivation to practice meditation and be honest about it. For some it will be to resolve some personal problem. For others it will be the desire to know the truth. The best motivation to practice is an unselfish one. I will say more about this later. Although, if we are honest, our motivation will be a selfish one, we can make it unselfish by considering that we are not the only one who has problems. If we learn to solve our problems, then we can then show the way to others. So make your motivation to first help yourself, but then to help others as well.

Meditation

Meditation is the practice of focusing the mind upon an object. The purpose of meditation is to come to a better understanding of ourselves and our environment. To do that we must learn to pay attention to what is real, as opposed to what is only in our imagination. Only the present moment is real. The past only exists in our memories and the future in our hopes and fears. We spend most of our time in these imaginary realms. This has become a habit which is difficult to break. To learn to be aware of the present requires practice, and that is what meditation is.

In order to meditate we must put our attention to the body aside. This means putting the body in a posture where you can sit comfortably without moving it for some minutes. Each time we move is a break in our attention and this is something we want to avoid when we are meditating.

It is best to sit cross legged on the floor if you can do this comfortably. You should sit on a firm surface and not on something with too much give, like a bed or sofa. But the surface should be covered with a thick rug or a blanket, so there is not painful pressure on your legs or ankles. You should sit on something which raises your posterior so that it is even with or slightly higher than your knees. You can do this with one or two folded blankets. There are also meditation cushions that you can buy if you decide to make meditation a regular practice. Look for them online. The purpose of raising your posterior is to balance your center of gravity. If your knees are higher than your posterior, your center of gravity will pull you backwards and you will have to arch your back forward to keep your balance. That posture will become uncomfortable after a short while and your back will start to hurt. If you can’t sit comfortably on the floor, you can sit on a chair or bench. The chair should be the height so that you can place your feet flat on the floor. It should not have wheels on the legs and it should not be so soft that you sink several inches when you sit on it.

It is best to keep the back straight when you are sitting. This is to keep the body balanced, as I mentioned before. If your back is straight, your skeleton is supporting your body. If it is not, your muscles are supporting you and they will grow tired if you sit for a long time. Keeping a straight back also helps keep you alert. If you are sitting on a chair try not to let your back slump against the backrest. Lower your chin slightly. This brings your neck and head in line with the rest of your spine. It is best to do this meditation with your eyes open. If you close your eyes you may have hallucinations or fall asleep if you are tired. You can place your hands any way that is comfortable. I like to place my hands palm down on my knees or thighs.

Try to sit still, because shifting your posture breaks your concentration. But if your posture becomes uncomfortable, change to another position. If you are sitting on the floor, you can cross your legs the other way when the original way becomes uncomfortable.

Once your body has a comfortable position, you can focus your attention on your breath as you breathe through your nose. Feel the sensation of the breath as you inhale and exhale. Don’t try to modify your breathing in any way, just observe it. Certain sensations may stand out. For example, the sensation of air as it enters and leaves your nose or the rise and fall of your chest. Place your attention wherever the movement of the breath is most obvious and observe its rise and fall. Your attention will wander. When it does and you notice that your attention has wandered, all you need to do is return to watching your breath. If your attention wanders a hundred times, bring it back a hundred times. This is the original meaning of the term “mindfulness,” remembering to return to return to the object of attention.

Continue in this way for a few minutes. I suggest that beginners should practice for about ten minutes. These days you can time your meditation with a stopwatch on your phone and there are meditation timer apps that you can download. However long you choose to meditate, you should end the meditation before it becomes an ordeal. Try to set aside a time every day to meditate, even if it only for a short while.

Don’t become discouraged if you find it difficult to pay attention to the breath. That is why you practice, because it is difficult. With time, what is difficult becomes easier, as with any skill. Don’t think that because you find it difficult you are not suited for meditation. However hard you find it, just keep trying. Keep a good posture and when you remember, return to watching the breath.

While you meditate you may notice physical sensations. Most commonly some part of your body will start to itch. You may also notice a sensation of warmth or a pulsation. Or the room may start to spin. If the sensation is slight, ignore it and continue watching your breath. If it becomes too strong to ignore, watch the sensation instead of watching your breath until the sensation lessens or disappears. If the sensation becomes extremely strong and frightening, end the meditation session and get up and do something else. If your eyes start to water or burn, you are staring too hard. Shift your gaze and soften your focus.

Less commonly, you may have visual or auditory hallucinations. These are more common when you practice with your eyes closed, but can also occur when you practice with your eyes open. Handle them the same way you handle physical sensations. Ignore them if they are not strong and focus on them until they go away if they are strong. Sometimes meditators become fascinated with their hallucinations and try to experience them again in the next meditation session. Don’t do this. Whether they are pleasant or frightening, hallucinations are no more than distractions from your practice, which is to follow the breath.

Some people have the misunderstanding that because meditation relieves stress, meditation should be stress free. And because they find that they struggle with meditation, they feel they are not suited for it. This is not the case, especially at first. Here is an analogy. When you exercise, whether stretching, or running, or weight lifting, you are going to find it is difficult. You will hit the limit of your ability and be very conscious of it. As you continue to exercise, you will improve and those limits will change. But you will always be challenging your limits and be conscious of them. In the same way, when you you will always be challenging your limits and be conscious of them. In the same way, when you meditate, your mind will wander. Controlling it by bringing your awareness back to the breath takes you will always be challenging your limits and be conscious of them. In the same way, when you you will always be challenging your limits and be conscious of them. In the same way, when you effort and this effort creates a certain amount of stress. As you continue to practice the mind will wander less, but you will continue to be aware of your limits and the need to control your awareness. You shouldn’t expect to achieve an effortless state of peace any more than someone exercising expects not to be challenged by it.

The purpose of this form of meditation is to learn to be more focused on the present moment. While it is difficult at first, it is a skill that you can master. As you do, you will see benefits in many areas of your life. Our minds are emotion amplifiers. We take a small problem and increase it through our imagination. It may be regrets about the past or worries about the future. To the extent you can focus on the present instead of the past or future, your problems will be more manageable. Focusing on the present will allow you to get more enjoyment out of life. We are too often planning what will happen next to stop and enjoy what is happening right now. If you are religious, you will also notice improvements in your spiritual life. You will be able to pray and read scripture with less distraction, so your spiritual life will be stronger. If you have a consistent, daily meditation practice you should notice notice all these improvements within a few weeks or a month.

The benefit you get out of meditation depends on the effort you put into it. Practice as much as you are able, but no more than you are comfortable with. You don’t want to make meditation a chore. It should be something that you are comfortable with and that you approach with a sense of anticipation. Start out with a short daily meditation and increase it by a few minutes whenever you feel you can do so comfortably. You can also do two meditations in the morning and evening. Whatever works best with your schedule.

Working with Emotions

As you continue to practice, the random mental chatter that occupies so much of our mind will quiet down. But as the saying goes, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Persistent thoughts with some emotional weight will fill your mind instead. These thoughts can be positive or negative. On the positive, side, you may have sudden insights into problems you are working on. There is nothing unusual with this, we often discover solutions to problems at quiet moments of our lives, when we are walking, driving, or bathing. So it can also happen when we are meditating. Don’t let these thoughts dominate your meditation. Take note of them, put them aside for later, and return to watching your breath. Don’t chase after these insights or allow your meditation practice to devolve into a problem solving session.

You may also have spiritual insights during your meditation. It is very important not to give these thoughts special value because they occurred during your meditation. There is nothing special happening here. You can solve spiritual problems as well as practical problems during quiet moments.

And all solutions, spiritual and practical, must be checked. Don’t think that because an idea occurred during meditation it is necessarily true or correct. In the case of spiritual insights, check them against scripture and what wise persons have said on the subject.

Other persistent thoughts will be more purely emotional, such as worries or feelings of anger or guilt. When you find that your mind is cycling through emotionally charged thoughts, stop and look at them. Don’t try to diminish or amplify them, just let them be as they are. Observe them closely and watch how your body reacts. Does it tense? Is your breathing or heart rate altered? Take the role of a neutral observer and you will find that these emotions have no hold over you. Allow them to stay as long as they want and you will find that they leave of their own accord.

The same is true of positive emotions. You may be overpowered by a feeling of love or compassion for others. Treat these the same as negative emotions. Don’t try to alter them. Just observe them in a neutral manner. Don’t think your meditation is a success if it is filled with positive emotions or a failure if filled with negative emotions. And don’t seek after positive emotions in your following meditation sessions.

The purpose of your meditation is to develop the ability to focus on the present by using your breath as a focus. Anything else is a distraction. When distractions happen, you deal with them by noting them in a neutral manner. And when they go away, you return to the original practice.

However, it is impossible to make a complete separation between your meditation practice and your daily life. Emotional problems in your life are going to come up in your practice. The more you practice, the better you will be able to deal with them. But it would be best not to have these problems in the first place. So, as much as possible, it’s best to have a calm steady life. If you are constantly starting and ending relationships, that will distract you when you practice meditation. The same is true if you have a high pressure job or are involved in some criminal activity. You can’t wall off these things from your meditation practice.

Our minds produce thoughts, but they also censor thoughts as well. As you relax, you will find the censor relaxes as well. Thoughts that are disgusting or evil may come to your mind. When they do, do not feel guilty or ashamed. Do not entertain these thoughts or try to will them away. Regard them with detachment, in a neutral way. They are not who you are or what you would do. They are simply thoughts that happened to come into your mind and if you do not entertain them or act on them, they will do you no harm.

If you continue to practice in this way, you will gain a degree of detachment from your emotions both while you are meditating and after meditation. You may view this as a positive or negative thing. On the positive side, you will find you can deal with difficult situations without bucking under the emotional strain. On the negative side, you may find your detachment from your emotions as disturbing. Before you were immersed in your emotions and lived them rather than being aware of them. Now you find that you are more aware of them, but instead of living them you witness them. It may seem strange and alien to witness your life instead of living it unconsciously and you may wish to give up your meditation practice. This witnessing awareness is only a temporary phase of your practice. I will discuss next what the witness is and how to practice with it.

Working with the Witness

As your mind grows calmer through regular meditation practice, you will find that there are stretches of time when you are witnessing your thoughts and other times when you are lost in your thoughts and not able to witness them. As a rule, you are able to witness your thoughts if they occur one at a time. When you have long chains of thoughts, one following another, jumping from one topic to another you are lost in your thoughts. When you can witness your thoughts for about a minute without interruption, you should change the object of your meditation from your breath to your thoughts. You should make the change gradually. Start your meditation practice by following your breath and after a while stop following it, sit quietly, and observe what happens in your mind. If it remains quiet, let it be quiet. If a thought arises, observe the thought. You will find that when you observe a thought, it will disappear. You will track of your thoughts, but when you notice this has happened, just stop and watch your mind once more. However, if you find thoughts occur one after another with only the briefest gaps between them, return to you previous practice of watching the breath. And if your mind quiets down again, you can return to witnessing your thoughts. So your practice will change from day to day. Some days you will spend more time following your breath and other days watching your mind. But over time you should spend a bigger part of your meditation watching the mind.

This practice should be done in a more relaxed way than watching the breath. You are not trying to control your mind in any way, only watch it. While before, you were trying to control the mind by placing your attention on your breath. It does not matter how often thoughts occur while you are sitting in meditation, as long as you observe them. You are not trying to hit each thought on the head to make it go away. As long as you are aware of a thought when in happens you are doing the practice correctly. And if you apply too forceful an effort, you will find it is more difficult to be aware of your thoughts. As you watch your thoughts you will notice that when you look at a thought, it disappears. Or you may feel frustrated that you can’t quite grasp the thought. This is another kind of overexertion in meditation. Relax a bit and be satisfied with however well you can follow your thoughts. You may feel uncomfortable when there are gaps in your thoughts or think that your attention is not strong or close enough. This is another form of over exertion. At the other extreme, you may grow tired from the effort of observing your mind and fall into a dull, bored state. You may find yourself on the verge of falling asleep and constantly nodding off. If this happens, make an effort to rouse yourself focus more closely on the details of your thoughts.

There is a tendency to divide your mind in two when you are watching the thoughts. The first part of your mind is watching your thoughts The second part of your mind is a running commentary on your meditation. It is important not to let this go unnoticed. Whenever you have a thought about your practice, treat it the same as any other thought. Simply be aware of it. Any feelings of frustration or elation should be treated the same way. Look at the emotion for as long as it is there. Nothing that happens in your mind should be privileged and exempt from being watched.

Sidetracks

As you do this meditation, you will find it can have powerful effects on your life. You will be more aware of your thoughts outside of meditation practice as well as inside of it. Because of your increased awareness, you may feel you can’t control your mind and you are going crazy. Nothing has changed in your mind, iit is only your heightened awareness of your thoughts that makes you feel this way. If you start to feel out of control, some light physical activity like walking or stretching can help. Or eat some food that you enjoy or talk with a friend.

You may also look at your behavior and conclude that everything you’ve done is a lie and you are a complete fake. Or you may take a small imperfection in your behavior and convince yourself that you are a great criminal and be horribly depressed. These are exaggerations. It is like viewing your mind through a magnifying glass so what is tiny appears to be big. If you have thoughts of guilt or depression it helps to talk to a trusted friend about them. It is even better if the friend has experience in meditation and can assure you that nothing is wrong with you or your practice.

At the other extreme, you may find that at some random moment when you are not meditating that all the thoughts in your mind stop. Everything in the environment stands out, sharp and distinct. You may relate to this with either joy or fear. It is only a result of your meditation and has no great significance, although it seems very impressive while it is happening. Or you may find that all the worries and concerns in your mind cease and you are filled with a feeling of indescribable bliss. This feeling can last for a good while, even several days, but eventually stops. When it stops you may feel down, like you have been cast out of paradise. Do not get attached to this or any other experience like it. Do not chase after the experience. It is almost certain that any attempt to recreate it inside or outside of meditation will not be a success and the attempt to do so will disfigure your meditation. Sometimes people think that experiences like this are enlightenment and decide that they should become spiritual teachers. Experiences like this have nothing to do with enlightenment and if you act like they are, you are only making a fool of yourself and possibly harming others who might listen to you.

For the sake of completeness, I will describe samadhi, even though it is unlikely that you will experience it in your meditation practice. Our meditation practice requires a certain amount of effort in that our attention is constantly slipping away and we need to bring it back. It is possible that your power of attention grows so strong that it becomes self sustaining and your meditation practice requires no effort at all. Possibly this is a state without thought. When this happens, the state will last for as long as it lasts and you have no control over that. It is like falling asleep. You will wake up again, but have no conscious control over when. This state of effortless meditation is called samadhi. You should not become attached to this experience or try to recreate it. It is a sidetrack to the main path of practice, which I am describing.

There is also a false samadhi, which resembles the genuine experience. This happens when your attention to your thoughts is strong, but somewhat dull. You are aware of your thoughts, but because of the dullness it seems that the thoughts have ceased, although they are still there in the background. You may finish your meditation convinced that only a short time has passed and find that you have been sitting for an hour or more. This false samadhi can be a serious obstacle if you become habituated to it. And there are warnings in many traditional meditation texts about it. To prevent it, you should make sure your attention is sharp while you meditate by trying to seethe smallest details of your thoughts. As a rule, you should sharpen your attention like this when your mind becomes dull and notice your thoughts in a more general way when your mind becomes agitated and hard to control.

Insight

Buddhism divides meditation into two types. The first type, which I have been discussing up to now, is shamatha, which is usually translated as calming. Our minds are usually agitated by distracted thoughts, but as we practice meditation, these become fewer. The second type of meditation is vipashyana, which is usually translated as insight. The difference between the two types of meditation is mostly a difference in emphasis. In the first type, you watch the mind with the goal of not losing the practice in distraction. In the second type, your awareness is steady enough so that you are able to examine the mind and determine what it really is. Once you feel your mind is steady, you can switch to doing vipashyana practice. If you find it is not, you can return to doing shamatha, which is the practice I have described up to now. One analogy for the relationship between the two types of meditation is that shamatha is like a glass shade around a lamp and vipashyana is like the flame of the lamp. When the flame is shaded from the wind it grows brighter and can illuminate the surroundings.

Before I say more about the practice of vipashyana, I need to say a little about Buddhist philosophy. Buddhism describes conditioned existence as having three characteristics. These are impermanence, suffering, and egolessness. Impermanence means that anything that has a cause or is a combination of parts will cease when the cause ceases or the parts separate. The purpose of thinking about impermanence is so that you are not surprised when things change or end. You may lose your job, a relationship with another person may change or end, and eventually you will grow infirm and die. If you think about impermanence you will recognize that the activities that we invest so much effort in are in the long run not worth that investment. This creates a degree of detachment which allows you to practice meditation with less distraction. It is also helpful to think of impermanence when some unwanted mental state such as anxiety arises in your mind. Emotions and thoughts do not last for long. When they seem to last, it is because you are constantly feeding them though your inner dialog.

The second characteristic of conditioned existence is suffering. There are many types of suffering, from the small to the great. The kind I what to focus on here is dissatisfaction. This is the feeling that whatever we have right now is not good enough. As a result, we are never able to fully appreciate and enjoy what we are experiencing, because we are already thinking about what is going to happen next. One way this manifests in meditation practice is goal seeking, which is when you meditate with the goal of attaining something in the future. As a result, our minds are divided and our practice weakened. To work with goal seeking during meditation, simply regard it as another thought and observe it when it arises.

The third characteristic of conditioned existence is egolessness. This means that there is no permanent, indivisible, independent self which produces thoughts, possesses thoughts, or contains thoughts. We speak inconsistently on this subject. Sometimes we identify with or thoughts and emotions, as when we say, “I was sad today.” But at other times we view our thoughts and emotions as something distinct, as when we say, “I could not control my thoughts,” or even “I could not control myself.” In the latter case we seem to have two selves, the one we want to control and the one trying to control it.

There is a close connection between impermanence and egolessness. The body is in a constant state of renewal, with new cells being formed and old ones dying. So the body lacks permanence. The same is even more true of the mind. Thoughts and emotions arise and then quickly disappear. We have a difficult time remembering in the evening what occupied our minds in the morning. Our minds are like a boiling pot of water, each bubble a new thought or emotion.

Another characteristic closely related to egolessness is emptiness. Emptiness is the absence of a characteristic in the object itself. We assume the object has this characteristic, but that is all it is, just an assumption. Another way of saying there is no ego is to say the mind is empty of an ego. We attribute an ego to the mind, but when we examine more closely, we find that there is none. Emptiness emphasizes the negative character of the experience of egolessness. We think that we have an ego, look for it, and finally realize it was not there and only existed in our imagination.

So vipashyana or insight practice is the investigation of the mind to see if it has the three characteristics of impermanence, suffering, and egolessness. If you have a strong meditation practice and have been practicing for a while, by this time should have a strong sense of the watcher and the watched. The watched is the flow of thoughts, emotions, and sensation through our mind. The watcher is the awareness which seems to witness this. To practice insight meditation, place your attention on the watcher and observe it. Is it constant or does it come and go? When you observe it, what are its characteristics? Don’t try to think of an answer based on your reading or get lost in speculation. Observe what the watcher is actually like. At some point you may become frustrated and confused. If that happens, observe that state. If you lose track of the watcher or if the exercise becomes too tiring, return to watching your mind. It works best to keep these periods of inquiry to just a few minutes at first and start and finish the session with longer periods of shamatha meditation. You will have to try it and see what works for you.

Supports

The practice of insight meditation can be difficult and frustrating. The reason is that there are obstacles to meditation that hold it back and need to be removed for the practice to be successful. The first obstacle is greed. Usually when we think of greed, we think of its extreme forms, such as an overweight billionaire wearing flashy jewelry. But if look more closely, greed is a constant companion in our lives. We spend our waking lives pursuing goals. From one viewpoint, this is quite rational, but we never stop and consider the desires that created these goals. No matter how rationally we pursue our goals, if they are motivated by irrational desires, the behavior is equally irrational. Are we pursuing our goals or being driven by our desires? This is how greed manifests in our lives. And it manifests in our meditation practice the same way. In your meditation practice you need to become familiar with the desires that are driving you. You need to observe them in a neutral way, neither making excuses for them or beating yourself up because of them. Simply become aware of the desires that are driving your behavior. These will manifest in a negative way as boredom when your desires are frustrated and in a positive way as chasing after good experiences in your meditation practice. The purpose of meditation practice is to observe and see clearly what is happening in the present moment. And part of that is the desire which is driving the practice. Observing it does not eliminate it, but making it conscious lessens its hold over you.

You will find it more helpful if instead of being driven from behind by desire, you are pulled forward by inspiration. Reading the biographies of saints or other meditation practitioners can inspire your practice and get you through the difficult periods when nothing seems to be happening in your meditation. It all helps to visit the places where saints lived are where the lives are celebrated, cathedrals, and temples as long as you do it with the right attitude. Although we like to think of ourselves as rational beings, what most strongly motivates us is emotions. We should be careful that what motivates us is healthy inspiration rather than unhealthy emotions like envy.

Also, the more your practice is motivated by the desire to help others as well as yourself the easier you will find it to practice. Almost always we start meditation practice with the idea of gaining something, such as peace of mind. What we find instead is that with meditation practice we lose something instead, our false ideas of who we are and our place in the world. This can be tough to bear when our motivation in selfish, but easier the more our practice is unselfish.

It also helps to have a flexible point of view. The world is full of people furiously arguing with each other, especially now that we are in the age of social media. And both sides think their point of view is correct. As a mental exercise, you should consider both points of view on a topic, what motivates one side to feel that way and how the other point of view is equally sensible. Considering the points of view of others helps you to see the difference between what is actually present in a situation and what you add to it from your previous history.

Finally it helps to have a firm commitment to your practice and practice daily with the attitude that you will never give up no matter what happens. When there are difficult times in your practice your commitment will carry you through when nothing else seems to.

Breakthrough

The purpose of insight meditation is to clearly see the three marks of conditioned existence: impermanence, suffering, and egolessness. There are two important differences between seeing the truth and knowing the truth. Seeing is direct experience. It is like biting into a hot pepper. Before you knew the pepper was hot, but after biting into it, you see that it is hot. And seeing is transformative. To know a truth will not necessarily change you. But to see a truth will. If you are not motivated to change your life after seeing the truth, you should ask yourself if you have actually seen it.

So the distinction between knowing and seeing is important. Because of meditation practice you see that who you thought you knew you were is not who you actually are. Look at your mind. Anything you see is not your mind, but a thought or emotion passing through your mind. The person that you think you are is also just a thought passing through your mind. Who you think you are is not you. Mind is simply awareness and awareness cannot be given any description, because any description is a thought and thus an object of mind and not mind itself. And yet we have a strong sense of self, a belief we are aware of ourselves. So the practice is simply to observe this self-awareness to understand what it actually is. This is the same practice described in the previous section, looking at the witness.

When you do this practice, you may believe that you have come to some understanding. It is important to distinguish between a false and genuine understanding. You may have an experience that is out of the ordinary or packs an emotional punch. This is not seeing the mind. No experience, however unusual or powerful is seeing the mind, for the reason I have explained. All experiences are objects of the mind, and not mind or awareness. Experiences are the result of your concentration. The more powerful the concentration, the more powerful the experiences you will have. But while concentration supports insight, it is not the same as insight. So whatever experiences you might have, note them and continue on with your practice.

Part of seeing your mind is dropping your preconceptions about it. Before you taste something new, you had some idea what it would taste like. But now you actually taste it and those preconceptions are gone. And the same is true of any direct experience. So the direct experience of mind is mostly negative. It is mostly cutting through your false preconceptions. To put it in a slightly paradoxical way, not seeing is correctly seeing. This is not to say that it is not a positive experience, but it is like looking at the empty sky.

It would be best to find an experienced meditation teacher to check your experience, but unfortunately qualified teachers are not common. Even worse, some teachers have abused their students. A good teacher is just a coach. A coach shows you how to practice and corrects your mistakes. But no coach can do the work for you. Some people are looking for a shortcut, a teacher that will zap them and give them enlightenment. But that isn’t real. Still, having an experienced teacher is a big help. In addition to being experienced, a good teacher is kind and patient. If you are trying to decide if someone is a good teacher, I have two tests. First ask them who their teacher was. If they are evasive or dishonest, that is a bad sign. Second, mildly criticize them and see what their reaction is. If they are angry or defensive, that is also a bad sign. A good teacher will also take criticism or praise patiently and not be influenced by it.

If you practice long enough and diligently enough you will come to a definite understanding of your mind. When this happens, please do not take it in the wrong way. It is not something to be proud about. No one cares how “enlightened” you are. They care if you are a decent and kind person. Whatever you have understood, your practice remains the same. Continue to watch your mind.

At first you will find that your understanding comes and goes. When you are speaking with other people or concentrating on your work, you will lose your understanding and slip back into your old habits of thinking. Don’t try to sustain your understanding or bring it back after you have lost it, because that won’t work. You will only fall deeper into confusion. Just continue to do your meditation practice without expectations and if your understanding was genuine, it will reappear.

Don’t treat your understanding as a remedy for the emotional upsets in your life. Don’t think that you are suffering from confusion, but that if you can chase the confusion away, you will regain a sense of peace and clarity. The confusion is a part of who you are and should not be rejected, only seen as it is.

Don’t try to expand or deepen your understanding. You are setting up a division within your mind when you think, “Now I am confused” or “Now I am clear.” The practice is to see the totality of your mind, not set up one part as good and one part as bad and try to increase the good. That does not mean you should indulge in bad conduct. No, your conduct should be spotless. But whether you are meditating or not, do not chase away bad thoughts. Just don’t indulge them.

It’s important not to over interpret your experience. Religions have placed different interpretations on enlightenment. It has been called finding the true self, union with God, or even knowing that you are God. You should recognize that all explanations or descriptions like this are false, because the direct experience of mind cannot be out into words. There is a natural tendency to want to explain the experience and put it into an intellectual framework, but if you try, you will only hinder your further understanding.

You may find that your experience challenges your religious faith or spiritual practice. All the practice you have done until now seems fake or deluded. However, you should honor your faith because the purpose of it is to show you the way to the truth, not to tell you the truth. The truth is beyond description and no spiritual teacher can do more than point to the truth. They cannot tell it and any descriptions of it are no more than metaphors. Your meditation practice shows you how to understand your tradition in a deeper and more profound way. It challenges your old understanding, not the tradition itself.

Please understand that there is no end to meditation practice. Whatever understanding you have is only part of the truth and becomes deeper and fuller with more practice. So it is important not to get lazy with your practice, but to use whatever success you have had to practice more.

Afterword

Meditation practice is good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good at the end. You do not need to wait long to see the benefits. I suggest anyone interested in meditation practice to make a commitment to do it every day for three weeks, 21 days in all. Then evaluate it, it if you find it helpful, continue the practice. There are times where nothing seems to be happening. And I have tried to warn about the problems you may encounter in your practice. But I have found regular meditation practice gives benefits slowly, but surely. And I believe if you practice, you will see the same.

We live in a materialistic age. The reason is that the benefits of a materialistic approach show themselves clearly. With no more effort than the flip of a switch we have comfort and entertainment. But our materialistic age has a danger too. As our machines grow more powerful, we grow weaker, because we ignore the older techniques of self development. Self development needs to happen on all levels: the physical, mental, and spiritual. With effort we can become who we were meant to be. Without it we have wasted our lives.

I wrote this because I wanted to share the spiritual practice which has helped me. I am not a trailblazer, merely a follower, and if you look, you will find many other worthwhile explanations of meditation. And though I have had my doubts, I thought it would be a greater fault to fail to share my experience than to share it with all the errors of my limited knowledge. All I ask is that you read it with an open heart and if you find it meaningful, put it into practice.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Meditation

Working with Emotions

Working with the Witness

Sidetracks

Insight

Supports

Breakthrough

Afterword